i hate not knowing because i do stupid things.

i hate not knowing because i say stupid things.

i hate not knowing because i look stupid.

i hate not knowing things which i should've known so that accidents and mistakes would be avoided, and prevented.

i hate not knowing things that i have the right to know.

and i hate the fact that i should've known about it, and i have asked you ten thousand times about it, and you lied straight to my face. now tell me, is it my fault that i thought wrong? is it my fault that because of my ignorance i committed a LOT of mistakes?

i am furiously mad. not because of the romantic shit going on with me for you. it's because you of all people should know me. and i guess, i made a mistake of expecting a lot from you. expecting that you really know me. that you know how my twisted mind functions. how i go about coping with life. and that you would actually tell me important stuff. well, i guess i am just overly disappointed, because unfortunately, after almost 6 years of friendship, you still don't know me. to think that i never lied to you, except for today, and i have always shared everything with you. is it wrong for me to expect that you would do the same?

andaming mali ngayon, at hindi ko naiintindihan. wala akong naiintindihan sa kung bakit nangyayari lahat ng ito sa buhay ko, ngayon at hell week.

i hate not knowing the things that i want to know. it's just like me not getting what i want. and i always, ALWAYS, get what I want.

''I think I'll go to Boston
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice.''