life gets you when you think you're ok.

it's when you wake up smiling, spend the whole day laughing and when you think the day will end the same way it started... life will stab you at your back. catch you off-guard and leave you helpless. wondering. wandering.

i thought everything will be ok. but no! no talaga! it's so frustrating that i am now okay not seeing him anymore. because i don't give a crap about him because he is super duper feeling!! and then! and then!!! i saw him!!! argh! well, i am really suppose to see him this week because he has to return something back to me(not my heart though) but i was not hoping we would and he would just ask someone to give it back to me. but oh well. i saw him. damn. i hate him! i really really really hate him. and i don't know exactly why.

bitterness? maybe.

right now, i just don't want to see him or see anything that would remind me of him(which is kind of impossible because we are now in the same school).

fuck it. i am still trying to understand why 'what happened' happened. why i said things. why he said those things. why he gave up. why i thought i have also given up. why were friends but not quite. why i hate him. why he acts like that towards me lately. why were not friends friends. why he's such a hatable and lovable person at the same time. and why on earth i am still thinking of him despite of every fcking thing that happened!

well... yes, i am bitter.

to add to my depression 'she' has a boyfriend and i don't have one!!! what's with her anyway?? argh!!!!

i want someone. someone new. someone totally not like him. someone who knows my worth. someone who will not treat me the way he treated me. someone. someone that is not him.

he will not read this. and i have no wish for him to read this.

i am a mess.

i wish life is better for other people. and i hope mine will be better soon.

"Were friends again but not like before."-Vince, Vince's LIfe